Illy..Family Woes

I'm in the office..and I feel like shyt...

but dammit if I dont look fab! lol

I have a sinus infection folks! ugh!

I've been taking Sudafed all day..so hopefully it lets up soon..

But I googled it..

And it said..

These symptoms last (on average) 10 days!!

I dont have 10 days to just give away yo!

So I will be working, studying, and pushing through this illness..

I'm a ridah..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note...

My sister living back in Los Angeles has been pleasant..

My brother on the other hand..well..

He has caused a lot of drama in the family..

Ya see...he went off and married some chick

And didn't tell anybody..

No engagement..

No including the family..

Just all of a sudden..he went to vegas (how classy)

And now he is married...to some chick that nobody really knows..

Moms is heated!! Especially since she was thee last person to find out..

I mean, I knew about it before she did...!

My brother is grown (28) so I wont question his decisions,

I just hope he made the right decision..

I met her..

And I wasn't too impressed..

But to each its own..

I just hate to see my mom so upset..

So a piece of me hates what he did..

But I will support him nevertheless...

Welp..back to work! I'm tryna leave early today!

Checking in..

Life is better today than it was..well..yesterday..

I'm workin hard yo..

and it's hard to keep someone happy

when you don't have time for them..

but I'm trying..

cuz the time is worth it..

My sis is moving back to L.A.

she's a couple years older than me..

but if you ask her..I'm the big sis..tru story

spring break is next week..so I'ma take sum time

to ree-fuckin-lax! oh boi..

True folks..

I can't help but smile

Cuz through it all..its what is intended

I can't be mad

I have grown so much in the past several months..

I have so much on my plate at this point..

I really don't have time for fickleness

Fickle people..

Baffoonary..

I strive for greatness..

And its a blessing to have some solid people on my team

I am confident..

That 1 day all this hard work will indeed pay off..

And I am even more confident..

That when it does.

There will be individuals who will wanna be on my team..

Some that maybe wasn't checkin for me in the past..

It always happens..

Bandwagon folks..

I will laugh..

And extend a hand..

As I guide them to the outer circle..

It is there where they shall stay and find shelter along with comfort..

I have the ability to see false pretenses a mile away..

And it is this ability that has put me in a position

where I can focus on those who have my best interest at heart..

I am thankful..

Ya see, this past weekend, a family member passed away..

I was sad..

I still am..

But I can only move forward in my endeavors

Life's too short to dwell..

So I won't make this so saddening..

Here's to the future..

And those who have transcended into it..

I won't ever forget the efforts of ma true folks!

And thas real!

15 Reasons I Will NOT be dating you..

Sooo....I was tagged. And with no further adue.....


Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 15 reasons you will not date a person. At the end, choose 15 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

15 Reasons I will NOT be dating you:


1. You told me your name was G-loc, Killa D, Young Knucklebop, ECT. and asked me what hood I stay in.

2. You only claim 2 kids at a time per year...

3. You have no job, not in school, and pretty much do nothing with your life BUT you are always busy..

4. You have lived with/shacked up with more than 3 women and your still in your 20s..


5. You tried to hold my hand in public on the first date..


6. You wear pencil leg jeans and v-necks to your belly button


7. You save my number under a different name in your phone..


8. You quit your 9 to 5 to hustle full time..

9. I felt it..and was not impressed :/


10. You always talk shyt about the Lakers..my home team!


11. I asked you who your favorite rapper was and you said Mac Dre..

12. You are proud of the fact that you have DSL's (d*** s*****g lips)

13. I met your mom and she said "I don't know what the hell you see in him!! REALLY!"

14. You still talk to your EX on the regular..

15. You are Creole..so we are probably cousins..

Me and my homegirl NeeNee..

A Good Day to be Black & Sexy!

It was Saturday..I woulda went out regardless.



But there was a film screening party in Baldwin Hills for
"A Good Day To Be Black & Sexy"



The film is dope! It's an independent film that was featured at sundance late last year. Google it to see the trailor.

So after they screened the film..the director and a few of the actresses in it came up for a Q&A session. The director..hmm... well he was not at all what I expected. Of course he was a black man..but he seemed like a nerd..okay maybe its just the style but the first scene in the film is a woman having an intense orgasm while her man's head is between her legs giving her that good shyt. Gets your attention right away! LoL There were several short stories in the film. I liked it. It looked sorta low budget although the film cost upwards of $100,000 to make.


So after the Q&A, the party got ta crackin'..open bar..it was nice! The view off the balcony was so official. I love the way Downtown L.A. looks at night. People started poppin' up and soon enough there were bodies packed into this mansion on the top of the hill. The pool in the back had large sculpted dinosaurs and the lighting in the pool changed from purple to green to red. Shoot, if it wasn't so damn cold I'da put my feet in!


So since it was VDay n all, my 2 homegirls both invited dates or whatever. The drinks started flowin cuz the homie was the bartender...meaning my glass was never once empty.


I met a lot of cool folks. It was an older crowd which is what I perfer. The Deejay was hittin..playin all my jams...you know I had to wiggle a lil bit...


Then I ran into my homeboi's brother who was up there wit his cousin. It was coo' seein a few familiar faces.


It was getting late. I was on the balcony and the homegirl was like "Girl you need to holla at 1 of these tenders up in here! "


Me: "Um, no I don't. I didn't come to find no boo."


She:"Well you gone be leaving alone then. I'm tryna plug myself with (such n such). You betta get somethin!" (as she walked back inside)


Me: "Fuck You Trick!!"


Okay okay, I didn't really say that last part Lol


I could write a book on how people act around Vday. About how people like to dwell on false hopes just because its fuckin Vday.


Not I.


I don't care what day it is.


I will not lower my standards.

____________________________________________

So I left alone. Went home.


And hugged a pillow.


My Vday was spent EXACTLY how I wanted it.


NO DRAMA :)
____________________________________________

I wish I could post the pics from that night (Cuz ya girl was mos def killn) BUT, my camera is on crack :(

around..

I think Valentines Day is the biggest JOKE! Half the people in 'love' ain't faithful and one day out the year wanna act like they are...ha!

I think I need a new phone. I have this Blackberry Curve but it just doesn't do it for me. When's the new 1 coming out for at&t?

They will play that Jamie Foxx song out...i swear! The remix is pretty hott tho...

I think I like my PR (public relations) professor. He's just so smart and informative. Also encouraging and kinda sexii...I'm sure I'll never miss a class! LOL

I met this comedian at the Keri Hilson grammy afterparty that I just cant get outa my head. I didn't get his name but he had me ROLLIN'! And he had a nice smile :)

I sometimes hate living on such a major street. There's always cars. There's always people. I couldn't be low key even if I wanted to! Oh, and there's a pretty big college across the street. Shoot, wish we had a balcony. Its a good street to people watch on.

My sister is a damn fool and I love her so much. Thas about all Ima say about that LOL

I don't like my brothers girlfriend and I've never even met her. Sounds bad.
I know. We've talked on the phone a couple times. She just seems fake to me. Doin the most to get in good wit the fam. Well, he's bringing her to meet moms in March so I'll make my final decision then. Bro is quite a catch so I'm tuff on whoever he's wit. Bottle line.

The two most overused words EVER are "SWAGGER" and "HATER"
Most people have NEITHER one so why do they live and die by it..its dumb.
I, however, do have HATERS so BIG UPS! LOL :P

Ever think you're just way too smart to talk to certain people? I do..

I can never turn the channel when I see Barack on the screen. And I will bite your digits off if you even try to reach for the remote! Hmph!

Isn't progress beautiful! I would like to think so.
It's not always hard. Progress means cutting dead weight. It means change, for the better. I love it. It's what life's about!

Say a quick prayer for ya girl! I work for LAUSD (Los Angeles Unified School District) and these budget cuts are putting my employment in jeopordy. I know my job is secure for this fiscal year, but 2010 isn't too promising...

So, Who was driving the white Bentley? (if you live in L.A. then you know what I'm talking about)

truth..

Its when fantasy is introduced to reality

From another galaxy

But it still feels so real

Its hypnotizing

And I keep finding

Reasons that cause me to chill

Its indescribable..can u feel it

I never wanted you to think u could jus kill it

But if u catch it I'm sure i can deal it

Hitn the deepest of this suggestion

Turning tense vibes into aggression

Following in every which direction

Please Pay attention

I don't do this regularly

so don't think ur better than me

when its done, its setting me free

Simply put, its giving u me

Confidently

I'm actually worse at my best

Thinking of how to contest
the present distress

Altho I strive on progress

its pointless to be this modest

The truth is I'm d o p e . .

Addiction

He's addicted to me

But I've evicted his scheme

Leaving no room for dreaming which increases the speed

I'm not giving him me

In fact I'm letting him breath

Because he places me between

His lowest priorities

But he just won't let me be

Cuz he's not used to the Queen

He's used to simplicity

And he see how I do me

He's used to getting his way

I make him wait on the day

When he's sure that I won't stray

When there's no more delay

I see him as fiction

And I'm his addiction

To the point that he got me under close supervision

It's not what I envisioned

How can this be when he no longer fits the description

I'm leveled and content while he's emotionally strippin'

I must be trippin'

Yea

Thats it

It must be me

IM A JANUARY BABY!

So, I just celebrated 23!!
Here are some pictures from the night of my party...
Anyhoo, I had hella fun! I partied it up in Hollywood..got to meet both Lyfe Jennings and J. Holiday..I seen Deray too, but I see dat nigga allll the time...I got pretty messed up Saturday..dat adios crept up on ya gyrl! All the folks came out to celebrate wit me..which was more than I could ask for!
CAPRICORNS STAND UP!!

The pics below are from after the club, in which I was rather intoxicated... :P

Fun Times!

Balance

I'm looking for the balance of it all
From what has been and what will be
Life's a journey that I plan to complete
The pure essence of what I strive to be
Encouraged to do what most won't
Finding new challenges when most don't

Just because you have followers doesn't, in any sense, make you a leader
So please don't succumb to the recycled manuscript
I won't tell if you don't
About how the world's fallacy has made you
And you have made copies
And these copies pretend to be real like me
But only those real like me can understand
That discernment is not a command, but yet a gift that distinguishes
you from your bullshyt

I can honestly lie, and you can vaguely come clean
But the balance is lost when you cant fathom what I mean
Its what makes silence so extreme
And turns thoughts into dreams

Which is ironic since I dream of balance
The kind I want to make this journey worth half the trip
This spectrum is always too much or not enough
Which is why the perfect balance can only be found in love

Brand New

I'll be 23 soon...the jordan year (a good friend of mine calls it..)
I'm lookin forward to turning anotha year grown and even more sexii lol
Like Teedra says, 'If you ain't sexii as hell then what the hell are u!?'
Gotta luv her!

So I'm doin a few things cuz my bday is on a Friday this year...woohoo!
So I'll be def treating myself because I deserve it!
Ima hit the spa..mani pedi of course..
Facial..massage..all dat!

Dinner at Hoff's Hut! This coo' lil spot off Crenshaw..ima keep it small tho...invite only! :P
My bday party will be in Hollywood tho..I won't be getting as wasted as I did on n.y.e. but I will have a few, dance a bit, and jus chill wit all my friends.

I always like this time of year because of all the holidays that are back to back...

Although it does suck to have a winter bday sometimes...

I NV those summer bdays..hmph!

But it should be cool! Cuz I'm one of the dopest chicks breathing..oh boi!

As '08 disintegrates...

Wow, okay so '08 was a little better than '07 (which was a bad year for a lot of folks)..
So I'm thinkin '09 will be even better!
I mean, I had my share of drama this year..family drama..friends turning on me..ppl fallin off left and right..along with the joy of growing closer with ppl who mean the most to me!
I grew wiser..of course..each year matures you..so that is in no way suprising..
I'm 2 more semesters closer to getting my BA degree..woop woop!
Made it another year without getting pregnant! Lol naw, I'm careful..but its still something to be a little proud of...
Hold up..I'm a lil parched....brb..

apple juuuuuiiiiicccceeeee....yes!


Anyhoo, my favorite albums this year are:

-Raheem Devaughn "Love Behind the Melody"
-Dwele "Sketches of a Man"
-Lil Wayne "The Carter III"
-Erykah Badu "New AmErykah"
-John Legend "Evolver"
-Musiq "OnMyRadio"
-T.I. "Paper Trail"
-Algebra "Purpose"
-Nas "Nas"
-Young Jeezy "Recession"
-Jazmine Sullivan "Fearless"

And 2009 I'll be lookin' for:

-Toni Braxton
-Teedra Moses
-Dr. Dre (Where Detox at????)
-Erykah Badu
-Whitney
-Eminem "Relapse"
-Mos Def "Ecstatic"
-D'Angelo
-Maxwell
-Raekwon's "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II"

My Trip to Sacramento

If it appears as though I had a great time...I DID!

From going to see 'The Color Purple' play, to clubbin it up, to kickin' it with old friends..all I gotta say is WOW, WHAT A WEEKEND!!

OBAMA NIGHT!!!

OUR NEXT PRESIDENT!!!

Halloweeeeeen!

Me an ma gyrl went to Nacionals in Hollywood...it was crackin'!! Seen way too many people I knew from HS tho..we were stuck in traffic for an hour tryna get there...but it all worked out cuz we found free parking!! (they were charging a dubb to park in Hollywood lasnite!!) Here are some pictures of me before I headed out....

Don't ask what I was supposed to be...I don't even know...
a sexii sumthin ma jigger I guess..

How you Doing? Farreal!!

When people ask you how you're doing, how often do you think they mean it?

I mean, the usual answer is "I'm good/fine/well"..

When I greet someone I usually say "Hi, how ya doing?"

And honestly, there are sometimes I know people just give me the usual answer because it's the thing to say..

And I do the same sometimes..

Saying hello to a neighbor who asks me how I'm doing, I say "I'm good, and yourself?" When in actuality I have a headache, have cramps, mad cuz I have entirely too many bills to pay, school sucks, I am stressed because of some of the people in my life, I need a vacay bad! But who actually tells people that from a "Hey, How are you?" Nobody wants to hear the bad, so we say we're fine, becuz it's acceptable.

People only ask how you're doing to start pointless convos about the weather. It's a convo starter really...

My close friends are the only 1s who actually care to know the real..

The passer byers and the nosey neighbors don't count..does it make me fake to give them a bunk answer?

Or maybe I say I'm good because that is what I want to be...kinda like how church folk always say "I'm blessed".. speak it into existance!! Can't be mad at that..

I'll leave you wit this hilariousness below!! LMAO!!!

It Was A Black Man..

Why is it that a Black Man can create a tiny piece called a filament (electric light - Lewis Latimer) that allows people to see in the dark? But can't be seen fit to lead a country to the true light.

Why is it that a Black Man can create an instrument (clock - Benjamin Banneker) that all people use to tell time? But people don't think it is time for him to run a country.

Why is it that a Black Man can design a place for the high authorities to meet in & a place for the president to live in (The Capital & the White House Phillip Reid (a slave) & Pierre L'Enfant)? But not good enough to lead these meetings or live in himself.

Why is it that a Black Man was brilliant enough to do the first open heart surgery (Dr. Daniel Hale Williams) and show the world how to get and preserve plasma (Dr. Charles Drew)? But not good enough to put a program in place where everyone can afford this surgery.

Why is it that a Black Man was creative enough to design an instrument (traffic light - Garrett Morgan) to bring multiple people (traffic) to a halt? But not seen creative enough to design a plan to bring all this unnecessary and worthless fighting between countries.

Why is it that a Black Man could create the soles (shoes - Jan Matzeliger) that people walk on everyday? But not seen good enough to fill the shoes of a president.

Why is it that a Black Man was smart enough & brave enough to teach himself (Fredrick Douglas &Thomas Fuller - both slaves) and others how to read, write and/or calculate math? But not seen smart enough and bold enough to calculate a platform to be President to a country that sure needs another first by us.

So you see my Brothers and Sisters what I am saying is let us not forgot our past, which led us to our present It is definitely the backbone to our future. We were good enough, smart enough, creative enough, and bold enough then, We all are as strong as our weakest link, so don't be that weak link that denies our people that chance to show we still can OVERCOME & BE THE FIRST!

VOTE FOR CHANGE!!
OBAMA/BIDEN '08

Mona Lisa-esque

I want you to write this to the perfect painting

A Mona Lisa-esque image shadowed by humilty

Finding whats mine, strength & ability

Queens can't be bought

Born to lead, never needing to be taught

Goddess of curiosity

Wouldn't you like to know

Mystery deprived of me

A spirit so exuberant

Like the Nile's slow and steady flow

Possession of internal jewels

Displaying all that is inside of me

For, who are you to treat such jewels like rocks

Priceless sold for cheap to relieve overstock

But the queendom is always prosperous

Even when some queens ain't down for us

They wanna be the main ones doubting us

So we leave them in clouds & dust

And as time goes by, I speed up my pace

Grass always greener and well worth the wait

Why focus on the stride, longevity is what I chase

Trickin off my destiny at a high rate

Neva dumb founded when I hit a fence or gate

I'm safe...or bate?

So good..or great?

The reaction is never fake when the outcome is fate

~Queen

Rhyme & Reason

You will never be fully satisfied
Even if given perfection
With the sweetest rendition
Of what life's coalition has in store

What more would you want in a real woman?
What she has? What they have?
Do the math…
Where 1 lacks, the others barely provide
Leading you down this indecisive path

Sky's the limit, But you are timid
Never finding reason to focus on 1
Must be fun
But I cannot fathom your motives
Especially when there are none

As I watch from backstage, the noise a bit too loud
You're just like a performer, a pleaser to the crowd
I can hear the cheers even when I'm not around
Falling for fakeness is not your style
Which is why the realest is on your speed dial

But so is her clinginess, and falsified hope
And their thirst for the words of a poet like you
You will never realize that they don't even come close
Until it is time for you to choose

A mountain easily climbed is never worth the journey
Which is why I don't mind you giving me a hard time
Stuck in your frivolous ways
You may have missed your season
Yet you are still my rhyme
And I continue to be your reason

Hated It!!

This is what I do when I'm bored and too lazy to start this 10 pager that's due for my telecomms class in a few weeks....::clears throat::

Things I just cant stand!!

-When people say "you look tired"..when in actuality you got over 8 hrs. of sleep the night before...it's like asking "are you pregnant?" to a woman who has only been slippin' on her crunches for the last year or so....Just rude!

-The fact that I attend a university that has NO football team!!! But they have the nerve to advertise a 'homecoming' this fall....For what?? There's not gonna be a game!! sheesh!

• sidenote: I love football, so it devastates me everytime I walk past our enormous stadium knowing that it isn't being put to good use...well, lemme take that back..David Beckham and the L.A. Galaxy practice and have games there...but still...why not a home football team!!

-The fact that one of my favorite shows "The Game" is being dogged out by the CW network. It's like one of the only black sitcoms on that station and they DO NOT advertise it AT ALL because they don't want it to get ratings...which means it may be cancelled...so please if you want to support please watch Fridays at 8pm (in L.A.) check your local listings for other cities...I really do love this show..does anyone watch it!?? It's fugged up it don't get the kinda love it should!!

-I hate that both my siblings living in Ohio. I have 1 older sis and 1 older brother and they have both up and left to go live with my dad's side of the fam...so I'm holding it down in southern Cali wit my moms...but I miss my siblings...I do.

-I hate how unprofessional Sarah Palin is...giving a 'shout out' to some 3rd graders in Alaska during a Vice Presidential Debate is not handlin'!! OBAMA/BIDEN '08

-I can't stand pick up lines..I went to the club this past weekend..and this guy tapped me on the shoulder and said "You know what, I have 'King' tattooed on my back in the same exact spot. What do you think that means?" I said, "Show me"..he didn't wanna show me because he was lying!! LOSER...

-Which brings me to my #1 pet peeve...I mean, this is what pisses me off the most!!=LIARS!! Hate 'em...point.blank.period...and I have the tendancy to see right through people..which means I can smell a lie from a mile away!! I never look at people the same after I have found out that they have deliberately lied to me..Lying to me insults my intelligence..Don't let these eyes fool u..